An old “Selfie” is uncovered on Facebook after years of seclusion by the Selfie subject and a group of her friends.
Finally! After all these years, it feels good to stretch back out to my original screen size, 465 pixels and all! Whew! It’s been a while! But we’re still looking-
… Stacy what happened to your braces? And your hair; its completely out of your face, and… blonde? I thought we were going for that punk-emo-skater-secret-girlie-girl-adorable look? Well, I guess it’s a good thing you found me! Don’t you worry girlfriend we will have you right back to the old you in no time and-
Ew? Ew! After all these years of hiding in the dark depths of cyberspace, that is all you have to say to me, “ew?” Oh sure, go on and laugh! That’s really mature!
What? No, I did not take this picture myself! Can’t you read the caption: “I don’t remember who took this, but I totally wish the hadn’t! No make-up, no editing, SO embarrassing!!!!!”
Gasp! No we set it as our profile picture because it was real, raw, us in our true- Sh, Stacy! We totally did not take this picture ourselves, ladies. Stacy, shut up! OMG, she really doesn’t know what she is talking about…
Oh, you mean these lyrics! Aren’t they so cute?! Don’t you just love the font and the color, and, personally, I think the placement is really well strategized. The way it moves diagonally across the waist totally brings attention our curves. What? They are not dumb! Stacey, like who do you hang out with these days?
Listen here girlie, these lyrics are so inspirational. Maybe you think they are dumb because they aren’t from your list of Top 40 songs playing on the radio. Stacey and I are into more the underground scene, you probably aren’t cultured enough to know about this band anyway.
Yeah? Well we knew them like way before they were somebody. That’s why we hate the radio, don’t we Stacy, because they are always ruining real artists.
…Stacy what are you talking about? Like, OhMyGod disregard her girls we totally knew about the band BEFORE they hit the big time.
And here we go with the laughter again! Ha ha! You know what? The joke’s on you guys! You know there was once a time when you all thought I was “the shit?” Yeah, that’s right Brittany; you know you were the first one to comment on this picture! Scroll down and see for yourself, you said, and I quote, “OMG Stace! This is totally HAWTT! Luv u!” See? Honestly, I don’t know why I am even like trying to justify myself; I have like twenty-six likes and fifteen comments; including one from Jason. Oh you remember Jason don’t you ladies? The hottest guy in the sixth grade… huh?
Well puberty didn’t seem to treat you that well either sweetie.
Embarrassing? Are you serious? OMG Stacey, I like officially don’t know who you are anymore. You know what? I’m like glad you found me again, Stacey, and I’m glad I embarrass you because I’m not going anywhere! So you can be “mortified” when all of your old friends, new friends, ex-boyfriends, current boyfriends, enemies, employers, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandmas, grandpas, and you see me, the “epitome of your awkward stage,” pop up on the screen. I’m here to stay, baby and there’s nothing you can do about-
What was that?
Where am I?
…Empty trash? OMG no! Stacy, no! Do not empty the-